A footpad who unwisely failed to keep up
with the times
(A failing seldom found in gents who special-
ize in crimes)
Essayed by means improper
To annex the hard-earned copper
Of a little Jap just fresh from Eastern climes.

Beneath his victim’s nose he shoved a pistol
big and black— Then rudely quoth: “T’row up yer hooks, an’
pass me out de sack!”
The Jap just muttered “Nitsu,”
Turned on the Jiu-Jitsu—
And with his thumb-nail broke the footpad’s back!

Pacific Monthly Vol 15 (Jan-June 1906)

Being in the field, the gentleman, a little tender in point of courage, offered him the note to make it up, to which our hero readily consented, and had the note delivered.

“But now,” said the gentleman, “if we should return without fighting, our companions will laugh at us; therefore let us give one another a slight scratch and say we wounded each other.”

“With all my heart,” says Weston; “come, I’ll wound you first.”

So drawing his sword, he whipped it through the fleshy part of his antagonist’s arm, till he brought the very tears into his eyes. This done, and the wound tied up with a handkerchief, “Come,” said the gentleman, “where shall I wound you?”

Weston, putting himself in a posture of defence, replied, “Where you can, sir; where you can.”

The Field of Honor (1884)

Would-be Seattle ninja found impaled on metal fence

Arkansas police officer tasers 10 year-old girl

Amusing?

How To: Survive in a Redneck Bar

Useful?

Make Your Own Medicine Balls for Classic Home Workouts. If you need some ideas on how to use it once it’s made, poke around Crossfit a bit.